Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Hey, I think I'm leading a double life here.

This one's for the states.

The most difficult part about studying abroad is dropping the connections from back home to focus on where I'm living now. During the day I speak in spanish, I connect in spanish, and I think in spanish. Then the night comes and I'm in my nightly skype session with those I care about speaking in english, thinking in english, and connecting in english.

My life is a dualism. Being here, I feel as though I'm switching between two lives- one in creation and one that I already own. But the one I'm working so hard to build now in Nicaragua will be left unfinished when I go back to the states in April.

That justifies my wanting to think, connect, and speak in the United States. That life is the reason why I miss home. The people, the connections, the things I've based my life on- they are everything I know. And to leave that is pretty difficult. Building a new life is even more difficult. Each night I fight the feeling of wanting to be consumed with my life in the United States.

But nobody ever learned anything by taking the easy way. Here in Nicaragua I am constantly learning. I'm meeting people and seeing traits in them I would like to see in myself. So for now I'll choose Nicaragua because even though my heart lies in my homeland, my lessons (my necessities) lie here. I bid you all a buenas noches from America Central.
Nos vemos!

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